


A Matter of Choice

by Orrymain



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drama, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Slash, Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-20
Updated: 2004-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-16 15:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13638660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orrymain/pseuds/Orrymain
Summary: Jack and Daniel go on their first official romantic getaway where they run into some of Jack's old buddies, forcing Jack to choose between two worlds.  The choice Jack makes may mean the end of his relationship with Daniel!  Warnings: Attempted rape -- but it's not very graphic





	A Matter of Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Boy / Michael Shanks](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Boy_Fanfiction_Archive), wand was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Boy / Michael Shanks collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theboymichaelshanks/profile).

A Matter of Choice

### A Matter of Choice

#### by Orrymain

Date Archived: 01/20/04  
Website:   
Status: Complete  
Category: Drama, Story, Angst, Romance, Relationship, Slash  
Characters/Pairings: Col. Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson     Jack/Daniel         
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers:   
Permission to archive:   
Series:   
Notes:   
Warnings: Attempted rape -- but it's not very graphic  
Disclaimer:   
Summary: Jack and Daniel go on their first official romantic getaway where they run into some of Jack's old buddies, forcing Jack to choose between two worlds. The choice Jack makes may mean the end of his relationship with Daniel!   


* * *

A Matter of Choice  
Author: Orrymain  
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html Category: Slash, Angst, Romance, Established Relationship Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D Rating: PG-13  
Season: 2 - late in the season  
Spoilers: None  
Size: 92kb  
Written: November 21-27, December 1,8,22, 2003, January 19, 2004 Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally! Summary: Jack and Daniel go on their first official romantic getaway where they run into some of Jack's old buddies, forcing Jack to choose between two worlds. The choice Jack makes may mean the end of his relationship with Daniel! Notes: Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Suzanna, Drdjlover, Tina, Michele, Starshadow, Saki! 

A Matter of Choice  
by Orrymain 

"Wow -- I can't believe we are really here on a ... a ..." 

"Romantic getaway?" Jack smiled as he pulled his love in for a kiss, one that caused Daniel to let out a moan of pleasure. 

"Gawd, you're good at that," Daniel sighed as he nestled his head against Jack's shoulder. 

The two had made trips together before, as best friends, and since becoming lovers, to Los Angeles to celebrate Daniel's birthday and to New York City for a lecture given by one of Daniel's Anthropology professors. This trip, though, was their first real holiday together, a romantic vacation where they could be free to be in love and show it unconditionally, and without worry. 

They had two weeks off, two weeks of "freedom" as they called it, and they had big plans. Ostensibly, friends thought Daniel was in Phoenix for an exhibition dealing with the Mayan culture, and then that he was tacking on some sightseeing to his trip. 

To the rest of SG-1 and closer friends, Jack was "tagging along" to "make sure he eats and let Daniel abuse me with lectures I'll just sleep through." 

But to everyone else, Jack was travelling with Daniel in order to go fishing at Saguaro Lake, ideal for both bass and carp catches, which was near Phoenix. 

Jack had joked with his co-workers that he had a goal to "fish in every state. I haven't hit Arizona yet, so this is my chance to catch a big one!" 

"Where should we go first?" 

"Bed," Jack replied half seriously and half jokingly as he kissed the top of Daniel's head. 

"You have such a one track mind, O'Neill." 

"And you don't?" 

Daniel snickered, "Well ... actually, I was hoping you'd say that." 

"I didn't come here to look at rocks, you know." 

"Oh, but you will." 

"I was afraid of that." 

"But ... first things first," Daniel leaned in for a kiss that enflamed their passion, and quickly, they made their way into the hotel bedroom where they made a torrential love that lasted for quite some time. 

* * *

"Now that's the way to start a vacation," Jack laughed as he and Daniel finished getting dressed a few hours later. 

"No arguments from me, Babe." 

Jack scooted up to his lover, and pulled him in close, "You mean we actually agree on something?" 

"Oh yes, most definitely, yes," Daniel spoke with a kiss, his hands around Jack's neck, playing with the back of his lover's brown and gray hair. 

A minute later, their teasing had turned into a serious stare, an exchange of love and devotion. Jack and Daniel often communicated with their eyes and bodies. Verbal language was simply one way they exchanged their thoughts, but now, their eyes and hands spoke loudest. 

Finally, they smiled, and at the same moment, both uttered softly, "Gawd, I love you." 

The two laughed at their amazing unison-speak and then kissed before finishing dressing and heading out to dinner. 

* * *

Dinner had been in a secluded corner of the hotel restaurant. It was a bit unusual in that Jack normally sat with his back to the wall, but Daniel had entered first and taken that spot. Jack started to say something, but Daniel spoke before he could utter a word, "Please, Jack, I want to spend time with you, not Colonel O'Neill." 

Jack was a bit uneasy, so used to naturally being on guard, but Daniel's plea cut into his heart, so he sat quietly and enjoyed his time with the man he loved. Besides, there were other ways to be observant, reflections in glass, quick glances, the sense of movement, but he knew Daniel deserved as much of him as he could give, so hard as it was, Jack tried to put the Colonel in check as their evening progressed. 

Each had eaten steak, with Chocolate Mousse for dessert. Now, they were enjoying a glass of wine as they relaxed. 

Jack was holding Daniel's right hand with his left atop the table. Each was caressing the other's hand, enjoying the touch and sensation of this rare freedom. Neither were worried about being seen at the moment. 

"Jack! Jack O'Neill!" 

The loud voice came from across the room, and suddenly, Daniel felt the loss of contact from Jack's hand. The younger man automatically withdrew his hand off the table as he looked toward the three men approaching. 

Jack had twisted his body around to see the faces that were with the voices calling his name, his face first surprised, then shocked as recognition set in. 

"Larry? My gawd -- Larry Hampton!" 

Jack stood and embraced the man, and then the two others who were also there. The foursome was loud, gregarious, full of smiles and pleasure from their obvious reunion. Meanwhile, Daniel sat quietly at the table, not really sure what to do. 

"I knew it was you, Bud ... knew the back of that head anywhere," Larry spoke. 

"You mean you recognized the stubborn, bullheaded part of me?" Jack teased. 

"Well, you have to admit, Jack, it's your best side," another of the men spoke. 

The reunion went on for another five minutes, mostly small talk and jokes about recognizing each other. Daniel sipped his wine nervously, feeling out of place and ... he had to admit, a bit abandoned on the first night of their romantic getaway. Jack hadn't even looked back at him since the trio appeared. 

Finally, one of the men asked, "So what brings you here?" 

"Here? Dinner!" 

"Funny, Bud -- real funny, but we meant here, in Phoenix. Aren't you stationed at the Springs?" 

"Yeah, I am. We came ..." and that's when Jack remembered he wasn't alone, and he turned to look at his temporarily forgotten partner. 

"Danny ... I'm .... I'm sorry." 

Jack looked back at the trio, quickly trying to think of a reason for his presence, and to explain Daniel. He was surprised at the difficulty he was having as he normally was a quick thinker and this shouldn't have been that tough. 

"Guys -- this is Dr. Daniel Jackson. He's ... a friend." 

Daniel stood up, gave Jack a small glare at the introduction, but decided to ignore it as much as possible. 

"Daniel, these are three of the greatest guys to have served in the Air Force -- Colonel Larry Hampton, Colonel John Mendolson, and Colonel ..." 

"Nope, Bud ... still a Major ... got busted." 

"Busted? For what?" 

"Slugged a Major General for being a moron." 

Jack flinched, but continued on, "Major Mike Sorelli." 

Daniel shook their hands, "Pleased to meet you." 

The three gave Daniel what the young man thought was a funny look, as if questioning what on Earth Jack would be doing having dinner with someone who looked like Daniel did. 

"So ... Dr. Jackson, you're ... you can't be in the Air Force," Larry asked. 

"Definitely not, not with that hair," John laughed. 

"Not exactly. I'm a civilian consultant. We ... work together," Daniel glanced at Jack who evaded his look. 

"Work together?" Mike asked, "Now that I have to see. You going soft, Jack?" 

"Me? Never. Danny...iel is a specialist ... cultural expert." 

"You need a cultural expert to kick butt, Bud?" 

Jack sighed, "No ... it's ... complicated." 

The three gave Daniel a final glance before letting it go. 

"Hey, Bud, how long are you going to be in town?" 

"About two weeks, Mike." 

"Anything important?" 

"No, nothing important. Just needed a break, that's all." 

The man leaned over and whispered in Jack's ear, "So, why the geek? You babysitting, Bud?" 

Daniel glared at Jack, which the older man didn't notice, but Larry did. 

"Something ... wrong, Dr. Jackson?" 

Daniel's head snapped towards the virtual stranger, "No ... I ... no, nothing's wrong." 

Mike took hold of Jack's arm and led him to the side, looking back briefly at Daniel. Although speaking in a low voice, Mike's words were easily overheard by all. 

"What say we blow this joint and let the good Doctor look after himself for a while? He's gonna cramp your style, and we have plans you just don't want to miss!" 

"I ... came here with him, Mike. I can't just dump him like that." 

"You sound like he's your girlfriend or something. C'mon, it's been years, Bud. What's the problem?" 

"You haven't changed, have you Mike. Always the smart remark." 

"What can I say? Bring your little friend along if you want." 

"Daniel?" Jack hesitantly faced his lover, his shoulders hitching with an unspoken question. 

Daniel's heart ached. Jack didn't sound like he cared much who he spent his time with, but he wasn't going to let Jack go on his own with these idiots, so he walked the few steps to the table, finished his wine, and said, "Sure, Jack, whatever you want. It's not like we were doing anything special, is it? I mean, like you said, we're not here for anything important, just ... needed a break." 

Jack looked at Daniel for a moment, knowing his lover's sarcastic comments were meant to affect him in some deeper way, but somehow, Jack didn't comprehend Daniel's concern. These were his friends. He figured after some time together they'd all learn to like each other. Besides, he hadn't seen this particular trio of friends in ages. It would be one night. There would be plenty of time for him and Daniel. 

Within minutes, Jack had turned his back to Daniel, laughing loudly with his friends, their arms around each other as they recalled old times. Daniel was all but forgotten. 

"Hey, Bud. What do you say we move this little reunion up to our room? It's my brother Pete's birthday, and we have a stripper booked." 

Daniel looked up in alarm. This was turning out to be even worse than he'd thought. Spending the evening watching a bunch of morons drool over some naked girl didn't fill him with anticipation. Still, he had Jack, and maybe they could slip out early. He was convinced Jack would tire of the trio soon. 

They all rose and headed off to the room, but Jack hung back and waited for Daniel. 

"Danny, you don't mind us going with them do you? We won't stay long, Babe, I promise. Then it'll be just you and me and a bottle of the most expensive wine I can buy." 

Daniel smiled, "It'll be fine, Jack, as long as we don't stay too long. I have plans for you." 

Jack smiled in anticipation, his eyes saying more than he could with words at the moment. He wished he could kiss his love. Daniel's lips were positively calling to him for attention, and Jack was anxious to respond. 

* * *

Within an hour, the party was in full swing. Pete had shown up as scheduled with a couple of his own friends, bikers yet! Daniel didn't think the evening could get any worse, especially when he saw the two tattooed bikers staring at him intently, eyeing him from his head to his toes. 

A couple of girls had been invited, and the stripper had arrived. She was a petite blonde with short hair and an even shorter IQ who went by the ridiculous handle of Bubbles. Daniel just shook his head. He felt like he was in a cartoon, and an extremely dumb one at that! 

Daniel sat in a chair by the window, leaving Jack to get reacquainted with his buddies. The older man had been drinking all night and was getting louder and seemingly reverting back to how he had been before Daniel had met him. 

Daniel watched in disbelief as Jack leered at the stripper, laughing when she pulled Pete into an erotic caress. He was whooping and hollering just as much as Larry and the others were. In fact, Daniel noticed Jack seemed to be leading the pack. This was not the man Daniel had fallen in love with. 

"So Doc, how's it hanging?" Mike had placed himself on the arm of Daniel's chair and was just about managing to stay upright. 

"It's hanging just fine thanks," Daniel replied, a little uncomfortably. 

Mike was practically sitting on his lap, making Daniel a bit nervous. 

"You don't seem to like the girls much, Doc. Is there a reason for that? I can cater for all tastes you know, and you are very, very cute." 

"Cute? I'm cute? How long did it take you to come up with that line? I'm anything but cute." 

"Don't sell yourself short, Danny, you're a very sexy man." 

Mike put his hand on Daniel's thigh, caressing and moving it inside. 

"My name is Daniel, and GET your hands OFF me, you moron. Take a hint, I'm not interested." 

Jack heard Daniel's raised voice and extricated himself from the grip of the stripper who was currently trying to get him to take his shirt off. 

"Is everything okay, Daniel?" 

"Yes, I'm fine, or I will be if your friend here takes the hint." 

"Mike?" Jack looked at his friend. 

Mike raised his hands and stood up, "Hey, I was just kidding with you, Doc. No 'hard' feelings." 

"Sure," Daniel replied sullenly, seeing Mike wink at him, something Jack wasn't in range to see. 

Mike walked off and Jack took his place on the arm of the chair. 

"What was that all about?" 

"Seems your buddy swings both ways. Thought he'd get lucky with me." 

"What? I'm sure he was just kidding, Daniel. Mike's as straight as they come. Don't take everything so seriously." 

"You weren't over here, Jack. He was serious, and I don't like being groped by total strangers." 

"Danny, your overreacting. Mike's like that with everyone. He doesn't mean anything by it. Now come on over and join in the fun." 

"This may be your idea of fun, Jack, but it's not mine, and I've had enough ... fun ... for tonight. I want to leave." 

"I can't leave yet, it would be rude." 

"Rude? You came here with me tonight. We were going to have a nice romantic dinner, just the two of us. I don't think it's my manners that have been lacking tonight. Do what you want. I'm going back to the room." 

"Danny, wait!" Jack shouted, but Daniel was already out of the door. Before he knew it, Jack was being led back to his friends. 

Outside the door, Daniel paused, a bit surprised Jack hadn't followed. He waited a couple of minutes, but when his lover didn't appear, he slowly walked back to their room. Somehow, Daniel felt very empty. He didn't like the feeling. More than that, he didn't like the stranger that was his lover. 

* * *

It was midnight when Jack entered the hotel suite he shared with Daniel. He was slightly drunk, but not so much that he didn't know that he was likely to have the door slammed in his face, or perhaps Daniel's knuckles. 

Instead, Daniel was quietly laying on the bed, curled up on his left side, wearing pajamas. Jack took a deep breath, partially relieved there would be no argument, and partially full of guilt at having allowed Daniel to leave the party alone. 

He took off his clothes, noticing Daniel hadn't moved an inch. Jack wasn't convinced his lover was asleep though. 

Gingerly, Jack got under the covers. He spooned up against Daniel, his arm wrapping around his love. He kissed Daniel's nape, as his hand snaked under Daniel's pajama top to caress the smooth skin. Slowly, Jack's hand started to go lower, to reach under the bottoms, but Daniel's right hand stopped him. 

"I'm tired, Jack. I want to go to sleep." 

"Danny ... I want you." 

"You seem to be good at picking when and where you want me, Jack; now it's my turn, and I say ... no. I'm tired." 

"Danny, don't be like that. You know I didn't mean to hurt you earlier." 

"And that makes it all right?" 

"No, of course not, but it's over. Let's not ruin our trip." 

"I don't want to make love with you tonight. I don't even want to have sex with you tonight. I just want to sleep." 

"Daniel ..." 

"Good night, Jack," Daniel moved Jack's hand off of his body and moved slightly away. 

Jack sighed, having received the message loud and clear. An hour later, however, Jack was still wide awake, staring at the back of his lover. He was used to being close to Daniel when they slept. The distance was killing him. 

Jack braved a move, and spooned into Daniel again. He sensed Daniel was about to say something, but Jack cut him off. 

"Please, Danny. I ... I just want to hold you, okay? That's all." 

Daniel didn't say anything, but Jack saw his lover's hand relax, so he snuggled as close as he could and tried to go to sleep. 

* * *

In a rare switch, Jack didn't wake up until 9 a.m., and when he did, he found he was alone. Quickly putting on a robe, he dashed out to the living room and saw Daniel standing on the balcony that overlooked the mountain scenery. 

Jack breathed a sigh of relief and walked to Daniel, putting his arms around him. 

"I'm sorry, Love. They're old friends, Air Force buddies, and I just didn't know how to get rid of them." 

"You didn't try, Jack. Besides, it's not that. It's just ... gawd, Jack, I felt like you didn't even know I was there. Actually, it felt like you didn't want me to be there." 

"Danny, I love you." 

"Loving me doesn't mean you wanted me to be there." 

Jack leaned his forehead against Daniel's right shoulder and closed his eyes. 

"I was dumb, okay? I didn't know they'd be there." 

Daniel turned and looked at Jack, "You're not dealing with what I said, Jack." 

"Danny ... I'm sorry. Okay?" 

"Sure." 

Daniel walked away, self-hugging and sat on the sofa. 

Jack ran his fingers through his hair. 

"Danny, what do you want me to do? Ignore them?" 

"Better them, than me," Daniel said, a bit too much like a child for his liking, but he was tired of the battle. 

"It's over, Danny. It was one night." 

"Was it, Jack? I didn't know who you were last night. You were like a stranger to me. Geez, Jack, I didn't even like you last night." 

Jack walked behind the sofa where Daniel sat and began to massage his partner's shoulder's, his fingers well aware of the knots and tenseness in his lover's body. Daniel moaned from the pleasure of the touch. 

"That feels good." 

"There's more where that comes from ... a lot more." 

Jack leaned over and kissed Daniel on the cheek, "Look, I'm going to take a shower and then we'll spend the day doing ... doing whatever you want. Okay?" 

"Sure, Jack. Whatever you say." 

Jack headed for the shower, knowing it was going to be a very long day. Daniel may not be pushing him away, but he wasn't exactly "friendly" either. 

* * *

After a quick, and all-too-quiet lunch for Jack's taste, the two men went to a local museum. Daniel rambled on about the various displays, but Jack wasn't really listening ... not to the words, but he was listening very carefully to what Daniel wasn't saying ... to the expression, or lack of expression on his face and in his tone. 

Jack had to do something. He just wasn't sure what. Unfortunately, he didn't see much of an opportunity to get back into his lover's good graces while they were staring at rocks, and Daniel seemed to have no desire to leave the Museum until it closed at 6 p.m. 

"Okay, so that was ... fun. How about a quiet dinner somewhere?" 

Daniel shrugged, and that's when Jack made his move, entering Daniel's personal space as they stood outside the Museum. Jack raised his left hand and moved Daniel's shaggy hair off his face so he could see easily into his eyes. 

"Danny," Jack's fingers continued to slide through Daniel's hair, keeping if off the beautiful face Jack treasured, "I'm truly sorry, and I really do love you, and please, let's get back on track. I love you, Danny," Jack leaned in and kissed Daniel. 

Daniel responded slightly, but that was all Jack needed. 

"Love you so much," he said as his arms moved around Daniel's waist, pulling the young man into him. 

Slowly, Daniel's arms went around Jack's waist just as Jack's kiss grew deeper. Involuntarily, Daniel let out a small noise, a pleasing sound that make Jack smile. 

"Gawd, I love you." 

"Don't ignore me again, Jack. I ... I won't let you do that." 

Jack nodded, "Dinner and ... a nice walk?" 

Daniel nodded and they walked down the city block, their arms around each other's waist, giving themselves a few minutes to let go of the day, and get back into the joy of each other. Jack was grateful for the fairly easy reprieve, and Daniel just wanted to be in love and content. 

* * *

"Mmmm," Jack sighed after the latest long, lingering kiss he and Daniel shared near a water fountain at a park. 

It was late, almost 10 p.m. but it was still nice out, and they were enjoying the clear night air and the feel of being alone together. 

"Jack," Daniel began to ask as they walked leisurely back to the hotel, "they called you Bud!" 

"Just a dumb nickname. You know -- Bud ... Buddy. Larry started it on our first mission together. It never really stuck, though ... just he, Mike and Johnny mostly." 

"Are they stationed here?" 

"No, weird fluke. Larry has family here and Mike and Johnny decided to join him on a family vacation of sorts. They've all stayed pretty close over the years. I don't think Mike has any other family, and Johnny's never mentioned anyone." 

"And you?" 

Jack looked off into the distance, "You know the story, Danny. I cut myself off from everyone. Always kept Sara and Charlie private anyway, but after ..." 

Jack coughed, trying to bury the emotion of Charlie's tragic death as he continued, "...I just didn't care ... until you, Love," Jack placed a kiss on Daniel's temple. 

"How long are they here for?" 

"A few more days at least. I'm not really sure ... but I had my reunion, and now I'm all yours." 

Daniel didn't say anything. He thought Jack was already his. He felt strangely upset that suddenly he felt second to old service pals. It wasn't jealousy, Daniel decided, but for the first time, he didn't feel important to Jack, and somehow, that was more disturbing than anything. 

* * *

The next day, Jack and Daniel spent the morning at the Bead Museum learning about the history, culture and artistic significance of beads. It was a quirky thing, but they had a good time. After lunch, they decided to go to the Turf Paradise Race Course to watch a couple of horse races. Horse racing wasn't a particular favorite of either men, but neither had a big interest in beads either. Early on, Jack and Daniel had decided they'd always try and do some new things, to experience places and events for the first time, together, on their vacations. 

After the third race, they decided to watch one more and then spend a quiet evening in their suite. 

As they were heading toward the exit, they heard the voice. 

"Hey Bud, I don't believe it. Small world." 

Daniel sighed, as he and Jack turned to see Larry, John and Mike eagerly coming their way. 

"Win some loot, Jack?" 

"Didn't bet, Johnny. I'm too smart for that." 

"Chicken's more like it," Larry laughed boisterously. 

"Yeah, well, I prefer safer bets. Don't really know much about the horses." 

"How about you ... Danny, isn't it?" Larry asked with a half-hearted smile. 

"Daniel ... and no, I don't really know anything about racing either." 

"Too bad," Larry stated, turning back to Jack, "Hey, we're just headed out for a night on the town. We know this great girlie joint. Right up your alley, Jack." 

Jack stepped on his heels for a second, and stole a glance at Daniel who had folded his arms around himself, "No, I don't think so guys." 

"Come on, Jack. You'll have a great time. Danny here can come, too, if that's what you're worried about." 

"Daniel," the young man repeated sternly. 

"Yeah, whatever. For old times, Jack. There's this one girl -- wow ... you have to see her. I mean she's built, with a set of ..." 

"Larry," Jack tried to cut off his old friend, "we have plans for tonight." 

"We?" Mike asked, giving Daniel an odd glance. 

"Yeah, well, Daniel ...," Jack sighed, feeling totally unglued, having no clue why he was having such a hard time communicating these days. 

"Not your thing, Doc?" Larry asked with a tone of accusation in his voice. 

"Watching women be exploited? No, not really," Daniel answered with his own air of accusation. 

"They get paid well." 

"Maybe. I wouldn't know, but what I do know is that I don't need to watch some girl undress to get what I need." 

"Maybe you'd prefer Chippendales," Mike battled back. 

"Maybe I'd prefer you to just go away," Daniel mumbled. 

Jack flinched a tad, feeling that maybe it was getting a bit out of hand. He didn't like the Chippendales crack, but on the other hand, it was just the way guys talk. Still, he thought he should say something. 

"Hey, come on, guys, Daniel's my ... best friend. He's okay. He ... we ... just aren't into that." 

"You used to be, Jack," John noted calmly, "or ... oh, I get it. You just don't want your ... friend here to be left out." 

"Yeah, we can understand that," Larry agreed, "but I still don't quite understand how you two work together. Explain that again, Jack." 

"I told you. Daniel's a cultural expert. What we do ... his skills come in very handy." 

"Need someone to cover your six, Jack?" 

"He has backup," Daniel said sharply. 

"I guess what you do isn't really dangerous," Larry mocked. 

"Yeah, uses tinker toys instead of M-5's," Mike chimed in. 

Jack was wishing the entire discussion was only a nightmare. He had felt lucky that Daniel had forgiven him for the restaurant incident, but he had a hunch it was going to be another lonely night tonight the way things were going. 

"Yeah, we get it. Hard to imagine you going soft there, Bud." 

"I'm not going soft. It's ... classified, that's all." 

"The ge... Danny here works on classified stuff?" 

**"DANIEL!"**

Daniel's patience was ending. He didn't understand how Jack could ever have palled around with these guys, and he certainly couldn't comprehend Jack's failure to stand up to them. 

"Whoa. Sensitive there, eh?" 

"My name is Daniel. Is that so difficult for you to understand?" 

"Good grief, it's only a name. Calm down," Larry spoke antagonistically as he got back into the conversation. 

"So Jack, you coming?" Mike asked. 

"We have other plans," Daniel reiterated strongly. 

"Who are you ... his mommy?" Johnny sneered. 

"No, I'm his," Daniel looked at Jack, not sure how to describe their relationship at this point, so he opted for the easy route, "...friend, and as we came here together, I'd like to think we'd leave together, but then again, that's up to him." 

Larry laughed, "So Bud, what's it to be? An evening of delicious babes and catching up with your buddies here or a spot of babysitting?" 

Seeing Jack's hesitation, Daniel shook his head, "Go ahead, Jack. I'm going back to the hotel." 

"Daniel," Jack called out as the younger man turned and walked away. 

"Have fun, Jack. Don't mind me. Besides ...," Daniel looked at the three, his ire growing with every second, and right now, he just didn't care what they thought, so he ventured ahead, "... I have a ... a headache." 

Jack blinked, not knowing what to say as Daniel left. 

"Let's go, Jack. I'm telling you, these women are ..." 

Jack let himself be led away by his three buddies, wondering when he had lost control of his own life. 

* * *

Jack dreaded opening the door of the hotel suite. Actually, he hoped the door would open. He thanked his lucky stars when it did, and slowly he made his way to the bedroom where Daniel sat, his back to the headboard, on the bed reading a book. 

"Have a good time?" 

"No, not really," Jack sauntered over to the bed and sat down, next to Daniel, their shoulders touching. 

"Are you mad at me, Danny?" 

Daniel closed his book and tossed it to the edge of the bed. He folded his arms and leaned his head back against the headboard as he turned to look at his lover. 

"Mad? No. Disappointed? Yes. You made your choice, Jack, and that's your right. I'm only surprised it's taken you this long to make it." 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't know they'd be here; it's just ... a little reunion, that's all." 

Daniel let out a nervous laugh, "I expected it to happen at some point. I mean, it had to, right? It always does. But ... it's okay, Jack. Really, I'm fine." 

"Danny, I ... they're old friends. I can't believe you're jealous of them. They ..." 

"Jealous? No, I'm not jealous. You've made my position in your life very clear. I know where I stand now." 

"Where you stand is that you are in my heart. You're it for me. I've told you that over and over again." 

"Maybe you believe that, but actions speak louder than words, Jack. You spent your evening with strangers." 

"They aren't strangers; they're war buddies, and that makes them a little special." 

"And what am I? You say you love me, want me .... even are proud of me ... but I guess that only means when we're alone, and obviously, that's not as important as being ... special." 

"No, that's not what it means. Danny ... it's complicated." 

"Complicated? Jack, if you were worried they'd out you, that it would ruin your career, that would be one thing. But ... you're not thinking about that. I don't even think it's entered your mind. You don't want your friends, your ... buddies ... to know about us ... because ... because I'm not like you ... or them. You're ... ashamed of me, Jack ... or maybe it's just ... ashamed of yourself for thinking you're in love with ... with a geek." 

"NO! Daniel, I love you." 

"Keep saying it, Jack. Maybe you'll convince yourself. But right now, I really am tired, and I am going to sleep." 

"Oh for crying out loud, will you stop blowing this up into something it's not, and listen to me?" 

"Something it's not? What is wrong with you? How would you like it if I'd done it to you? Look, I don't want to discuss this now. You ... made your choice, and now I have to make mine, but at the moment I'm tired and I might say something I'll regret. I don't want us to end up ... to end up hating each other. Don't push it, Jack." 

"And what's that supposed to mean? You're making this out like ... like we're breaking up or something. What is so blasted wrong with me spending some time with some old friends? We don't have to be joined at the hip you know!" 

"Be quiet, Jack, just close your mouth before you swallow your foot and choke!" 

"That's funny, Daniel. Get that out from the Comic Section?" 

Daniel's anger was growing, "Don't you get it? I'm not interested in anything you have to say about it right now. Nothing you say will change the way you acted this evening. You can't make it go away with one of your famous apologies." 

"Famous apologies? What is that supposed to mean?" 

"You know, Jack, where you say you're sorry about a thousand times, look at me with that googly face of yours and try to charm me with your Irish smile ... and when that doesn't work you try to seduce me ... and when that doesn't work you spend your paycheck on something totally ridiculous ... and then you expect me to say everything is fine and we just move on and forget whatever it is you've done lately." 

"I like buying you things." 

"Jack," Daniel said with exasperation, "Gawd, Jack, you don't understand. Why can't I get you to see it? I want you, not anything you could buy for me. Yes, I appreciate what you do, the things you give me, but they don't mean ... anything. You mean everything. I want you to treat me like I matter, to listen to me. I want to come first, not be second to hockey and war buddies." 

"Geez, it's like being married." 

Jack wished he could have bitten his tongue off as soon as the words came out of his mouth. What was wrong with him? He knew he'd acted appallingly, not once, but twice. He looked over and saw that Daniel's eyes were full of unshed tears. That last remark had hit him hard. 

"Well, I guess that's something you'll never have to worry about with me, isn't it?" 

"Danny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean ..." 

Daniel scooted down on the bed, pulling the covers tightly over him, and added, "For what? Saying what you really feel? Don't apologize for that. At least you're telling the truth now." 

Jack reached over and touched Daniel's arm, rubbing gently, "Daniel, I don't want to fight with you. I want you." 

"That's nice, Jack. I'm glad you have time for me now, but for the tenth time, I really am tired and want to go to sleep. Please don't touch me tonight." 

Jack got off the bed and wandered into the living area and sat on the couch, his mind wondering where he had gone so wrong. Daniel didn't get it, what he was going through. The problem was ... Jack didn't either. 

* * *

Hours later, Jack took out a shot of whiskey from the hotel mini-bar, and quickly downed it as he returned to the couch. 

His mind wandered back years in time, to a moment right after Charlie was born. Charlie was Jack's life then, but some old pals had shown up then, too, and as he had done last night, he had let them take him away from his family. 

When he returned, he and Sara had engaged in a similar fight as the one Jack and Daniel had just had. 

"Grrrrrr," Jack grumbled as he remembered their fight and Sara's words that night: 

"Jack, you're a father now. It's not just you and me anymore. You can't go out on a whim and expect me to tolerate it like I used to. I deserve better than that, and so does our son." 

She had been right, and it wasn't long before Jack had sent his old pals on their way, and settled into a home life that was happy and loving. He had really never been that wild. All in all, Jack was pretty tame growing up and in his Academy life, but there were a couple of sets of buddies, comrades with a bond that went beyond the normal, where Jack had an image that he always felt he had to keep. He was strong, witty, and emotionless. He covered up any real emotion with humor and by being one of the boys. 

Jack leaned back on the sofa and something else entered his mind, a conversation with Daniel about Charlie Kawalsky. His lover had never understood how Jack and Kawalsky could have been best friends, since Kawalsky had been so different than he. 

Shaking his head, Jack recalled his last real conversation with his friend, when Jack asked for his stereo in jest. 

"Oh Charlie. You didn't even know me, not really, but Daniel knows me. Gawd, he knows me better than I know myself. Why am I doing this? I love Daniel. He's everything, but geez, Charlie, they're the guys. It was only a couple of nights. What's so wrong with that?" 

Jack retrieved another drink from the mini-bar, not caring what it was. He opened it, and downed it with one long gulp. Closing his eyes, "Sara didn't understand either. Crap, it is like being married. Married? To Daniel? What a thought." 

Jack sighed and walked back to the sofa and got lost again in his memories and thoughts. 

* * *

"Jack?" 

Jack turned his head towards the bedroom where Daniel stood, arms folded, dressed in navy blue shirt that caused Daniel's blue eyes to shine, making Jack's heart flutter from the beauty. 

"Didn't you sleep?" 

Jack faced front again, and shook his head, "No." 

Daniel slowly walked over to the sofa and sat down close to his lover and asked softly, "Not at all?" 

"You didn't want me to touch you." 

Daniel reached out and took Jack's hand, their fingers entwining. He laid his head against Jack's shoulder. 

"I love you, Jack, but you have to choose what world you want to live in, and the thing is, I don't think you even realize what you're doing, or what the risks are to your actions." 

"I don't, Danny. I'm sorry. I've sat here all night, and I don't ... I don't see what's wrong ... not really." 

"I know, and that's why I can't be angry, at least not for long. You're not trying to hurt me. You just are." 

"I don't want to hurt you. Danny, they're old friends, and they ... they're just different. I don't know how to mix them and you." 

"Don't. Jack, I don't like them. I don't want to ... socialize with them. Babe, if you want to spend time with them, then do it, but be honest with yourself. They don't like me either, and they don't care that you think I'm 'okay' as you said. Jack, if you want to be with them, go, and I'll spend my time at places that matter to me. There's a lot to see here." 

"This is supposed to be our vacation, Danny. Just you and me." 

"Yes, I know that. I thought maybe you'd forgotten." 

Jack pulled away, standing, "I'm going to take a shower." 

Daniel sat back on the sofa, feeling more alone than ever. His lover was clueless, and Daniel was afraid he might never understand the consequences of his actions. 

* * *

An hour later, Jack finally emerged from the bedroom. Daniel was reading the book he had begun the night before, though it didn't seem to Jack that he had made much progress. The older man took a calming breath and took a seat next to his love. 

"How about a trip to Sedona?" 

Daniel looked up, a bit surprised. 

"It's supposed to be beautiful there. Let's rent a car, and get out of the city for a while." 

Daniel looked deeply into Jack's eyes. They were both trying hard not to fight. Both wanted their romantic getaway to get back on track, so Daniel smiled, closing the book and setting in on the coffee table. 

They grabbed their coats and headed to the door, but Jack reached out and took a hold of Daniel's left arm. 

"I love you, Danny. Don't ever doubt that." 

Daniel blinked and smiled, "I don't, Jack." 

Both heard the unspoken words that circulated through the air. This wasn't about love. It was about choices, decisions, and paths. Jack's worlds had unexpectedly collided, and he hadn't an inkling that it would mean leaving behind a life he had once cherished. 

* * *

Their day in Sedona was heavenly. The landscape was every bit as picturesque as the brochures had indicated. They held hands the entire time, except for when they were wrapped up in each other's arms admiring the panoramic view. 

When they returned, it was nearly 11 p.m., and they had managed to completely forget about the trio that had invaded their vacation. The only thing that mattered was that they were together, and they were in love. 

They snuggled for a while, and then they made love, and fell asleep cuddled together. 

Over the next two days, they visited many of the Phoenix mainstays and took another day trip to the Wine Country, with stops at the little township of Elgin and ending in Nogales on the Mexican border. They hadn't talked at all about Jack's friends, but at the end of the second day, they had stopped in the hotel bar for a nightcap and once again, the trio appeared. 

Jack saw Daniel wince as they sat at the corner table. He also remembered Daniel's words, that Jack had to make a choice. 

"There is no choice, Danny," Jack thought silently as he studied the suddenly drawn face of his lover. 

"Hey boys, out for a late night round of fun?" Larry asked. 

"Just got back actually, and we're about to call it a night." 

"It's still early, Bud," Mike cajoled. 

Jack saw Daniel cringe at the use of the "Bud" nickname. If he were honest with himself, Jack had to admit he had never liked it either, but it was one of those guy things he had never felt that he could stop once it had started. 

"Let your friend go upstairs, Jack. I have something even more special to show you tonight. Her name's Katrina, and you are going to love her. I told her about you. She's hot, Jack ... and she wants to meet you." 

Daniel looked at Jack, and that concerned the older man. There was no anger in Daniel's eyes, no jealousy, but there was ... an acceptance, almost an expectation. 

"No." 

"Ah, come on. Remember that gal in Kuwait?" 

Jack looked up, his breathing suddenly more rapid. 

"This gal has her beat. She's for you, Jack," Larry continued to push, totally ignoring Jack's discomfort, and Daniel completely. 

Jack took an audible breath, shook his head, and said, "You don't understand, Larry," and then Jack reached for Daniel's hand and held it tightly. 

The trio laughed, slapping Jack on the back. 

"We know, Jack. You're covering his six. We figured that out the first night. You don't need to play. Let's go." 

Jack was totally taken by surprise. He had thought his action would shock his old friends, but they seemed to think he was only covering up, trying to protect Daniel somehow. He was confused, and so lost in his thoughts that the next thing he knew, he was being led out the hotel door and away from Daniel, away from his heart. 

* * *

Daniel sat for a few moments, and suddenly he realized he had his own choice to make. Was he being fair to Jack? Putting all the choices and decisions onto him? Jack had told him time and time again that he would fight for Daniel. Well, shouldn't he fight for Jack, too? 

Daniel downed the last of his drink, and quickly ran out of the restaurant, catching up with the foursome just as they were hailing a cab. 

"Change your mind, Doc?" Larry asked. 

Jack turned in complete surprise to see Daniel standing a few feet away. 

"As a matter of fact, I did. I want to see this ... Katrina." 

John laughed, patting Daniel's back, "Give the other side a try, Danny, you might just like it." 

"Yeah, right ... and it's Daniel," Daniel spoke as he took a seat in the cab. 

* * *

Two hours later, the five men were several drinks into their second bottle of vodka. 

"Only thing the Russians ever created that was worth a dime," Larry harped as he finished a drink. 

Daniel didn't like the conversation. For that matter, he didn't like the bar. What was worse, he hated the curvacious, buxom blonde that was leaning over, rubbing against, and now sitting on his lover. Jack was enjoying himself way too much, and after a few more drinks, Daniel's rationality was long gone. 

"Jack!" 

One of the men leaned over and shouted above the music, "Leave him alone, Doc. He's busy showing the young lady the finer points of mouth to mouth." 

Daniel shoved Johnny away, angry at his intrusion in his life, and shouted across the table again, "Jack, I want to leave now!" 

Jack was engrossed with the tonsillectomy he seemed to be performing and didn't even look up. 

Daniel stood up and swaggered over to his lover, pulling the buxom female off of his lover, "I want to go back to the hotel now." 

"Sure, Danny. I'll meet you there later." 

Jack got up and pinched the blonde's rear, causing her to laugh. At the moment, Daniel hated his lover, but his mind wasn't thinking properly, the alcohol having taken over an hour ago. 

"Fine," Daniel mumbled, mulling over his choices. He could either leave, which would mean going back to the hotel on his own, wallowing in his defeat and abandonment, or ... Daniel laughed to himself, "there's always an 'or', Jack, isn't there? ... Or he could beat Jack at his own game. 

"Yeah, let's see how you like it, Colonel O'Neill," Daniel smirked inwardly. 

He wasn't sure he even cared at the moment what Jack thought. His lover was acting like a womanizing fool, and Daniel didn't particularly want to be around him. 

"Right, and that's why I'm about to do the same thing," Daniel mocked to himself, and yet, he couldn't keep from doing it. 

Daniel had drunk more than his limit. He felt numb, at least inside his heart and soul. He decided he wanted to feel, and he decided he wanted to give Jack a taste of his own medicine. 

Downing another drink, the young man spotted another buxom dancer, one with long black hair and piercing black eyes. She was scantily dressed and for a moment, Daniel was reminded of Sha're, but laughter from the table brought Daniel back to the present. The "stacked" blonde had Jack's shirt unbuttoned and was pawing him as she kissed him. Jack made little effort to stop the kiss, his buddies urging him on. 

Daniel took yet one more drink, stood up and swaggered over to the other dancer, and without a word, kissed her. Johnny saw and punched Mike on the arm, pointing towards the "new" action. 

"Way to go, Doc," Mike laughed, prompting Larry to look at Daniel and the dark haired dancer. 

Suddenly, Jack became aware of a diversion. He pushed aside the blonde, and saw his lover "dirty dancing" with the other gal, sharing kisses and intimate touches. Jack's blood pressure rose dramatically. 

He pushed the blonde off of his lap and went over to Daniel, grabbing his arm, "What the heck are you doing?" 

"Hey, Lover Boy. Just having a good time ... just like you. She's built, or didn't you notice?" 

Daniel's words were slurred, and he was having a hard time standing still. The dancer he was with seemed eager to help him stand, her hands on his behind, cupping his butt cheeks. 

"Let's go, Daniel." 

"No, I don't think so, BbbbbuDdddd. I'm having a good time now. You go play with Kaa...Ka....the bimbo. And I'll play with mine," Daniel snickered. 

"You're so cute," the dancer said as she kissed a willing Daniel again. 

Just then, the trio surrounded Jack. 

"Hey, Kat is lonely over there. Come on, Bud. She's eager. Bought and paid for. Don't pass it up." 

"Yeah," Daniel laughed, "have a good time, BbbbbbbbuDddddd. I plan to," turning his attention to the dark haired girl, "we're going to have a real good time." 

Jack's pulse raced when the girl whispered something in Daniel's ear that made him blush and giggle as he leaned into the girl, grabbing her close to him. 

"Get your hands off him," Jack growled, pushing in between them. 

"What's the matter, Jack? Afraid I'll find out what I'm missing? Big macho he-man can do whatever he likes, and I have to put up with it? A few 'Sorries, Danny' and we kiss and make up? Well, guess what, Babe, you've picked the wrong man to play around on. I don't share, Jack, I never have, and," Daniel reached over and drank out of a bottle of Tequila that sat on unoccupied table, "I'm not gonna start now. Go back to your friends and your bimbo and do what you like. I'm glad she does it for you. I hope she's worth it." 

"Daniel, nothing happened. It was just a kiss, for crying out loud!" 

"That's the difference between you and me, Jack. I don't care if you just kissed her or if you slept with her. Cheating is cheating, and you obviously care so little for me that you can do it in front of my face. Gawd, Jack, you're flaunting it. I mean that little to you that you could do that to me?" 

Jack reached over to touch Daniel's arm, but Daniel pushed him away, taking another swig from the bottle, and then speaking loudly, "Get away from me. I'm gonna have a busy night, and you aren't on my agenda for the evening." 

Daniel began to dance with the brunette, ignoring Jack's presence. 

"Okay, Dannyboy, you want to have fun. So will I!" Jack returned to Katrina, leaving Daniel alone with the other dancer. 

Some time later, Jack looked up to see what Daniel was doing. He spotted him in a corner booth with the girl. She had her hands all over him, and he seemed to be enjoying it. His face was flushed, his hands in her hair while he was kissing her neck. Jack felt his anger rise, and he got up quickly. 

Larry glanced up and grabbed Jack's arm, pulling him back down again, "Hey, maybe the Doc isn't so queer. Leave him alone, Jack. He's obviously enjoying himself over there. Didn't know he had it in him. Bet he didn't either. You don't have to protect him anymore. He's growing up. Just shows it's never too late." 

Jack said nothing as Katrina took her place on his lap and kissed him again. 

About an hour later, Larry and Mike went up to the bar for some more drinks. They spotted Daniel along the end, talking to a tall man with blonde hair. They looked like they were having an intimate conversation. 

"Hey, Doc! Thought you were having a good time with the sultry maiden over there. You switched sides already?" 

"Why, you interested? Have I got something you want, Larry?" 

Daniel was way past his limit for drinking. In fact, he was surprised he even remembered Larry's name. Actually, he had to think a minute what his own name was. 

All of his inhibitions were being thrown to the wind. He couldn't care less what they thought of him. He just wanted to make the pain go away, to forget everything and everyone. 

"Are you crazy? Me, no! I'm a ladies man through and through, just like Bud." 

"Yeah, just like good ole Bud," Daniel repeated, and then feeling Steve's hand on his lower back, Daniel turned to him, "Bet you're not a ladies man, are you, Steve?" 

Steve couldn't believe his luck. He'd come in for a laugh, to see how the other half lived. He didn't expect to find someone this gorgeous in some Phoenix mid-town joint. This night could turn out to be much more interesting than he'd thought. 

Steve moved closer to Daniel until their lips were almost touching, "What is it you want?" he whispered. 

"I want to forget." 

Daniel took another a drink, a sadness in his eyes that Steve didn't see or care about. He watched Larry pick up a new bottle and turn around. He also saw the leer of lust in Mike's eye. There was no way of mistaking it. Mike was definitely interested. Daniel ignored the Italian and re-focused on Steve. 

Larry and Mike went back to their seats, laughing and joking as they sat. 

"Hey, Jack! Looks like you had a near escape with your buddy there." 

Jack looked up, pushed Katrina off his lap and reached for his drink. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Danny Boy! Seems he's not too fond of the ladies after all. He's up there giving a tonsillectomy to a guy at the bar." 

"What?" 

Jack was enraged and shook the arm off that was holding onto him. 

"I'll kill him," he shouted, storming over to the bar. 

As he got nearer, he saw that the man had his arm around Daniel's waist and his hand was playing with his hair. Before they even noticed he was there, Jack acted. His fist caught the man on the jaw, and just that quickly, it was over. The man went down with a cry of pain. 

"Stay down or I swear I'll kill you, or make you wish you were dead!" 

"What do you think you're doing?" Daniel fumed at Jack as he went to help the man up. 

"Get away from him, Daniel. You are so pushing me tonight. What the heck is wrong with you?" 

"Me? You self-righteous, egotistical, macho ..." Daniel was beside himself, his anger at Jack at an all time high. 

"Gawd, you make me so angry. You are so full of yourself sometimes. Who do you think you are, some self-proclaimed Adonis? Flash a smile and I come running? Give an order and expect me to follow? Get a clue, Jack, and when you find it, it won't be with me." 

Daniel was about to say more, but looking into Jack's eyes he saw that they were icy cold. He knew what his lover was capable of and didn't want Steve to get any more hurt than he already was, not because of him, so he stopped himself from speaking again. 

"You're coming back to the hotel with me, now! Don't even try my patience, Daniel, because I won't be responsible for my actions if you argue with me." 

Daniel was going to point out that if Jack wanted to try getting heavy handed with him, then he was quite capable of defending himself, but he decided that he didn't want to create an even bigger scene than had already happened. 

"Fine! I'll go back to the hotel, but I'm not going with you. I don't want to be anywhere near you, Jack, not tonight, maybe not ever. Stay here with your friends, and do what you like. I don't care anymore. Gawd, Jack, I really don't care." 

"Daniel!" 

"I mean it. You follow me, and you won't see me for the dust. Now get the heck away from me. You've got your wish, I'm leaving." 

With that, Daniel turned and went out the door. As Jack went to go after him, Larry came up and started tugging him back to his seat. Not knowing what else to do and feeling like he'd really blown it this time, Jack reluctantly went and sat down. 

* * *

At 8 a.m. the next morning, Jack sheepishly entered the hotel room, prepared to beg for Daniel's forgiveness ... yet again. His heart stopped when he saw Daniel packing. 

"Danny?" 

"It's okay, Jack. We don't need to make a scene or argue. We did enough of that last night. In fact, I think we pretty much said it all. You need to spend time with your friends, and I need to get out of here before I forget who I am." 

Jack rushed forward, grabbing the shirt in Daniel's hand and urgently tossing it back into the drawer, "No. Last night was a mistake, Danny. I want to spend time with you." 

"Well, that's too bad, because I don't particularly want to spend time with you. I don't even want to spend time with myself." 

Daniel grabbed the shirt back out of the drawer and angrily rammed it into his bag. 

"You're not leaving, Danny, so you might as well put your stuff back." 

"I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and I've decided that I want to go home. Last night you ordered me to leave, and now you're ordering me to stay. Can't you leave the Colonel back at the base, just for once?" 

"You were letting that guy touch you, Danny. You were way out of line. I should have broken his neck while I had the chance." 

"Oh, that's just great. You mean it's okay that you were doing exactly the same thing, because it was with a woman, but because I was doing it with another guy, that's much worse?" 

"No, I ... I ..." 

"You're not ready for a long term, committed relationship, Jack. Last night proved that to me ... or ... maybe it's just me you don't really want." 

"Daniel, that's garbage. You know how I feel about you." 

"Yeah, you love me, when it's convenient, when you're friends aren't around. Well, I'm not going to settle for anything less than what I've always wanted. Then again, maybe that's why I've always been alone. But I won't settle, Jack. Even when I doubt it myself, I have to have some feeling of permanence, but you don't want that, or you couldn't have done that." 

"It didn't mean anything." 

"Gawd, Jack. You just don't get it. If you don't want that, a relationship with respect and caring that means more than ... than ... drinking buddies or a buddy ...," Daniel looked down, unable to finish his thoughts." 

"Danny, I love you. Not one minute has been less than perfection, and you know it." 

"God knows I love you more than life itself, Jack, but I won't be played for a fool, and I won't have your indiscretions shoved in my face. I'd rather be alone. It's not hard, really. I've had lots of practice at it." 

Daniel knew he was lying to himself, but he had always known he wasn't good enough for Jack, that his handsome and sexy lover would eventually want out. It had always been too good to be true, so it was time to let go, before they hurt each other even more. 

"Will you stop playing the victim? Geez, Daniel, you sound so whiny. Poor me. He left me for a few hours to have some fun with friends. And that's enough to end a relationship? Just who isn't ready for commitment Daniel?" 

"Whiny? I'm just facing facts. You don't want me, Jack, not the way you think. If you really loved me like you say, you couldn't make out with some girl in front of me." 

"IT WAS NOTHING! HARMLESS! Why can't you see that?" 

"And why can't you see that when you're committed to someone, it means you give them everything you are? I want you, Jack, all of you, not just pieces. But you have to want me, too. You have to want the good with the bad. And, more importantly, you have to want me first, just like I want you." 

Daniel felt so helpless. For a linguist, he so often couldn't find the words he needed or wanted to express himself properly, and this was one of those times. 

"I just want to go home, Jack, and move on with my life. It shouldn't be difficult. After all, we're not ... married." 

"Danny, stop throwing that in my face. You know I didn't mean it the way it sounded." 

"You never mean anything, Jack, do you? It doesn't matter. You've made your choice. You just don't want to admit it. It's over, Jack. I'm leaving," Daniel said, placing his socks and underwear in his suitcase. 

"Daniel, we need to talk about this. I want you, in every way. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." 

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time. You always think that you can say you're sorry and everything will be fine. You think I'm a saint who can forgive and forget all the time. I can't, Jack. What do you expect from me? I'm not a saint. I'm a man, and I ... I hurt ... and this time ... gawd, this time I almost did things I can't forgive myself for doing because I was so hurt and angry at you." 

Daniel packed some more clothes into his suitcase and then looked back up at Jack, "I can't do it again. I'm not strong enough to sit by and watch you be one of the boys. It tore me apart, Jack, and what hurts still, is that you don't get it. I love you, but you made a choice. You chose them. I'm leaving while I still have some dignity left." 

"You're not running out on me, dang it. We need to talk about this. You're not leaving this room until we have." 

"I don't need your permission, and we have talked about it, talked about it until I don't have anything else to say. As you said, we're not married." 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It was a horrible thing to say. How many times do I have to apologize for that?" 

"Yes, it was a horrible thing to say, and you don't have to apologize for saying what you feel in your heart," Daniel sighed, "This is getting nowhere, Jack. Don't you see? We're too different. It's not even what happened last night, not really. Things like this just remind me how far apart we are. I know you love me, and God knows I love you, but it isn't enough. I'm giving you an out, Jack. You'll thank me for it in the end. Please just let me go." 

"Let's talk about last night." 

"I don't want to." 

"Tough. I do." 

"And that means what? That you're some god and we have to do what you say? Geez, Jack, I'm surprised you can even move this early in the morning." 

"I didn't say it was easy, and what about you? Did you come back here last night?" 

Daniel shook his head, "I left the bar, like I said." 

"Did you come back here?" 

Jack saw Daniel's hesitation and his Mr. Jealousy took over, leaping to conclusions. He hadn't seen Daniel get into a taxi, but as he thought back, he recalled seeing both the brunette and Steve exit right after Daniel had. His veins bulged as Jack yelled next, "Did you sleep with her, or geez, with him?" 

Daniel's blue eyes darkened with anger, "How dare you ask me that? What about you, Jack? You and that ... that ... that ..." 

Daniel couldn't finish. He was tired, angry, emotionally drained, and hung over. He was also just plain miserable. 

"I asked you first." 

Daniel sneered, "We're not children, Jack. This isn't some dumb game." 

"Then don't act like a child." 

"I'M NOT! You're the one who was all over that girl, and letting her be all over you." 

"I was with the guys." 

**"SO? WHAT THE CRAP DOES THAT MEAN?"**

"It means it was nothing. It's what guys do!" 

"We're guys, Jack, and in case you haven't noticed, we've never done that before," Daniel put his last shirt in his suitcase. 

Jack's anger peaked as he grabbed the suitcase and pushed it off the bed. 

Daniel laughed, "Real adult of you, Jack." 

"And you were an adult last night, Daniel? What morals were you practicing when you slept with that hooker ... or the gigolo?" 

"Both! In fact, we did a menage a trois! Is that what you want to hear, Jack?" Daniel yelled before throwing the pants he had held in his hands against the wall, and slumping down onto the bed in weary defeat. 

"I didn't sleep with her, or him, or anyone, okay?" 

"Oh no? It sure looked like you were planning to," Jack spoke, his jealousy still in control. 

The jealousy was inflamed by his own guilt that he hadn't yet admitted to. Jack didn't want to see what Daniel had been trying to tell him from the beginning, nor did he want to admit that his old world wasn't the smartest one in the world. In the end, as Jack let his accusations fly, he failed to see that Daniel was at his end. 

Daniel stood up again and walked to the window and stared out, his arms folded, his breathing labored as he struggled with their discussion. 

"Come on, Danny. Be honest. You slept with one of them, didn't you?" 

"No, Jack, I didn't. We walked out, and I realized what I was doing. Steve went on his way, and I gave the girl some money and told her to go home, and I got in a cab and threw up all over the back seat, and then I came back here and threw up some more." 

"Danny ..." 

"Don't, Jack, just don't. I know you had sex with that girl. I knew this day would come. It's done, okay. Let's just ... end it now. I can't do this anymore. Please, Jack. Stop. Gawd." 

With tears threatening, Daniel silently picked up the suitcase and its contents and then closed it, intending to walk out, but Jack was standing in front of the door with his arms spread wide as Daniel tried to get around him. 

"Please, Jack, I want to go home. Don't make this harder than it is. I have to go, Jack. I have to go now, while I ... while I can." 

"No! If I let you walk out of here, you'll leave me for good. We'll be trapped in some ... nightmare that we won't know how to get out of. I know you, Danny, you don't do these things lightly. I won't lose you, I'll do whatever it takes to get you to listen to me, even if I have to tie you to the chair." 

Jack put his arms on Daniel's shoulders, rubbing both gently, and with his best teasing smile, "I love you, you geek." 

Daniel stared at Jack, knowing he was trying to be lighthearted, to bring back some normalcy into their conversation, but as much as he wanted to give in, he knew he couldn't. Jack still didn't understand, and Daniel cried inside at what was happening to his lover. 

"Do you? You have a funny way of showing it, making out with bimbos, sleeping with them," Daniel struggled to hold back the tears, feeling a strange combination of righteous anger, indignation, and abandonment. 

"Danny, I'm sorry. I tried to tell them. You saw that." 

"You took my hand. They laughed, and you left. Tell me what I'm missing, Jack. Besides, your actions last night speak louder than anything you could say now." 

"Oh for ... Daniel, I did not sleep with her." 

"Right." 

"I didn't." 

"And where did you spend the night?" 

Jack coughed. He felt like such a heel. Everything he had done had been to protect his image, an image that meant nothing, to three old friends who in the end, really didn't mean that much either. How could he explain it, and how on Earth could he expect his lover to believe him? 

"Danny, please don't make this more than it is." 

"You cheated on me, Jack, and more than that, you made a choice, a choice to ignore me, to leave me behind for your friends." 

Daniel walked up to Jack and kissed him, "I love you, but I won't let anyone treat me like that, especially not you. I can be ignored in the Springs. I can do that anywhere. But I won't ... I won't let you do it, and I won't cheapen myself with petty affairs, not mine, and not yours." 

Daniel backed away and spoke softly, "It's okay. Really. I'm ... used to it, and that's not playing the victim. It's just the reality of my life." 

"Danny ..." 

A knock at the door interrupted the conversation. 

"They'll go away," Jack stated, anxious to stop Daniel's departure, but the younger man went to the door and opened it. 

He laughed, "Perfect," walking away as Larry, Mike and John entered the hotel room. 

"Forgot your jacket, Bud," Mike yelled out to Jack, holding out the garment in his right hand. 

"His name is Jack," Daniel stated. 

"To you, maybe," Larry said arrogantly, causing Daniel to shake his head as he looked towards his lover. 

"Going somewhere, Bud?" John asked seeing the suitcase, "Thought you were staying for a couple of weeks." 

"He is. I'm leaving." 

"Oh, I see," Larry spoke with a grin. 

"No, he's not going anywhere." 

"Give it up, Bud. Let him go. He's not like us, and you know it." 

And that's when Jack finally got it. The Clue Bus smashed into him, head first. Daniel wasn't like them, and that made all the difference in the world. Jack realized he was treading a thin line, but now that he finally comprehended his nightmare, he knew he'd win Daniel back. 

After all, Daniel loved him. The younger man had admitted to that over and over again during their fight, and he knew he loved Daniel, more than life, and certainly more than a handful of Air Force jocks. 

With both barrels armed, Jack let loose with his artillery, "Thank heavens he's not like us. Gawd, we aren't good enough to shine his shoes." 

"You've been drinking too much, my friend," Larry smirked. 

"No, Larry, I just woke up. Geez, what was I thinking? I almost threw away my life, and for what?" Jack sneered, more to himself than to anyone in the room. 

"Listen, Bud, I'm not sure ..." 

"Jack. My name is Jack. His name," pointing to his lover, "is Daniel, and ... he's my best friend. He's also my lover, my partner, and my heart. The concept may be foreign to you, but I love him, and when I say we aren't worthy of shining his shoes, I mean it. He's saved this world of ours in more ways than you can imagine." 

Jack was just warming up. He hated speeches, but he had a lot to say. He walked up into Larry's personal space, and stood nose to nose with him. 

"A geek? Yeah, he's a geek! Multiple PHD's, and I'm proud of every initial after his name. He's saved my life, and that of my team, on more than one occasion, and I have news for you, Larry ... news for all of you," Jack looked at each of the trio, "if weren't for Daniel, you'd all be dead. 

"I know you probably don't believe me. Wish I could tell you, but you know, it is classified. This man can go places and do things you can only dream of. Gawd, I'm proud of him. He's a scholar and an explorer. More than that, he cares. Geez, Larry, you know something crazy? If someone walked in here and pointed a gun at you, he'd jump in front of you and save your life, and he doesn't even like you." 

Jack suddenly choked a little as he looked at Daniel and gave a small smile, "He'd save a fly. He has so much compassion for life, any life. And yet, life hasn't been kind to him. Not even ... me." 

Daniel blinked and Jack flinched, turning back to Larry and the other two men. He regained his composure and continued on with a vengeance. 

"Geek? Oh yeah, he's a geek who can and has covered my six as well if not better than any of you ever did. What's more, I think he could take all of you, if he wanted to." 

"I doubt that, Bud," Mike sneered as he eyed Daniel closely. 

"Shut up, Mike, or I'll let him show you. I trained him. Don't let the long hair fool you. He's more of a man than all of us put together. He's more than all of us ... in most every way," Jack spoke softly. 

Taking a deep breath, Jack continued, "And ... for the record, nothing happened with Katrina last night. I put on a show for you guys, because for some stupid, moronic reason, I thought I had to. I let her paw me, and I ... gawd, I did it back, all for some pointless, ridiculous notion that we had an image that had to be maintained. I realize now that I'm the moron, but now it's time to tell the truth. 

"I hated every second of it, but I went to her room and stayed there, on her sofa, all night. I paid her big bucks to lie to you if asked. I'm such a stupid, stupid jerk. You guys don't know what I almost lost, what I may still lose. 

"Daniel ... he's the best thing that ever happened to me, and like I said ... I'm in love with him." 

Jack walked over to Daniel, placed his right hand on his cheek and caressed it, "Gawd, Danny. I'm so sorry. I get it now. And I choose you. Do you hear me? I choose you. Forever," Jack leaned in so close to Daniel's mouth, "...you" and then kissed him, a sound, full kiss that soon ended up with their arms wrapped lovingly around the other. 

"I love you, Danny, so friggin' much." 

For the first time since the trio entered their lives, Daniel felt important again. Jack's eyes spoke louder than his words. Daniel saw the commitment, and the love. He couldn't stay angry. He didn't want to lose Jack. He only wanted Jack to be honest, and now he was. 

Daniel smiled, "I love you, too, Jack." 

Jack turned back towards the trio, "And now if you don't mind, and even if you do, Danny and I came here to spend some quality time together, just the two of us, and that's what we're going to do, so ..." Jack moved towards the door, opening it as he spoke, "it's been fun, swell even, but the party's over. Have a good life. Don't let the door hit you on the way out." 

"You can't be serious, Bud." 

"Jack, and oh yes, I am." 

The trio looked at each other, shrugged, and walked out the door, but as Jack was closing it, Larry turned back, putting his hand up to block the door from closing. 

"I don't buy it, Jack. You and a geek? Best friends or lovers ... I don't buy it, but you need to protect him, you go right ahead. Call us the next time you're around without him." 

"Oh, no, Larry, you see ... Danny and I are forever. Where he goes, I go, and vice versa. I'm not protecting him; not sure why you think I am. Well, actually, I do protect him, as much as I can, and I'll go on doing it because he's my life, and I really don't give a rat's behind whether you believe me or not. Night, Larry." 

Larry was about to speak, but Jack closed the door and bolted it, and then hurried over to Daniel. 

"Danny, I meant what I said. I'm an idiot, a royal jerk. Geez, how can you love me when I'm such a fool?" 

"Well," Daniel moved within an inch of Jack's lips, "it's the sex, Jack. I love the sex," and with that, Daniel's tongue worked its way into Jack's mouth, eager to stake its claim once again. 

Minutes later, both were out of breath from a rapid round of kissing and fondling. 

"I'm so sorry, Danny." 

"Jack, I don't want to spend the next week listening to apologies. You figured it out, and that's what's important. I admit it took you freakin' forever to figure it out," Daniel chuckled lightly, "but you did and ... I love you. Let's finally have that romantic getaway we've been talking about, okay?" 

Jack looked with amazement at his lover, "I thought you said you couldn't forgive and forget so easily?" 

"I lied," Daniel whispered, kissing Jack again, his hands fingering through Jack's hair, as Jack's arms held him securely in place. 

"Jack, I didn't like who we were last night. I hated us. I hated us both. I don't want to do that again, but I think ... I think maybe it had to happen, that at some point you had to decide." 

"Easiest decision of my life." 

"Not so easy, Jack." 

"Yes, it was, but you know me and feelings. I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. Danny, you said early on that it wasn't about love. Geez, you know that." 

"I do, Love, I do." 

"It was a different world, Danny. I loved that world, but crap, it seems so shallow now, but it was my world." 

"I know," Daniel held Jack to him, his palm gently holding the back of Jack's head to him as Jack let out a long, sad sigh. 

"They were my friends as much as friends could be ... in that world," Jack's head leaned against Daniel's as he spoke, "but it was a crazy existence. I never cheated on Sara, and I would never cheat on you. I ... never thought what I was doing was cheating. Gawd, Daniel ..." 

Jack pulled back and looked at Daniel, "I didn't realize what I was doing. I never meant to ... Danny, I loved Sara, and," with a sighing laugh, Heaven knows I love you in ways I never knew I could love. I'm sorry, Danny. Crap ...." 

Jack turned around, facing himself and his actions for the first time in his life. 

Daniel followed him, and put his arms around his lover's waist, leaning his head against his back, "That's what your life used to be. All I ask is that you live in the present, not in the past." 

Jack smiled, "I don't deserve you." 

"Or my boots," Daniel laughed, prompting Jack to turn around and scoop his lover into him. 

"Thank you, Danny, for that endless well of love and forgiveness. You sure you don't want me to grovel some more, maybe buy you the Taj Mahal or something?" 

"Jack, I want you, not gifts. I don't need things. I don't need words that talk about the mistakes we both make. I don't need you feeling like I'm judging you, or making you ... well ..." 

"Grovel?" 

Daniel laughed, "Yeah, grovel, but what I do need, Love, is you, loving me, holding me ... protecting me. Jack, I just need your heart. It's all I ever wanted." 

"Me, you've got, though I'm not sure why you want me." 

"Because you're beautiful, and you have the kindest heart, and I adore you. But ... you have to listen to me. We came here to have fun, to be with each other. Please, Jack, let's leave ... that world behind. It's not ours, and I want us to live in our world." 

"Okay, Love! What first?" 

"We pack." 

"Pack? But Danny, I thought ..." 

Daniel cut off his lover's words with a wet, lingering kiss, "the Grand Canyon, Jack. You promised me we'd go. Let's go now." 

"You're so demanding, Dr. Jackson." 

"And you love it, too!" 

"No, but I do love you." 

The two lovers headed off for a few days at the Grand Canyon before returning back to Phoenix for a couple of days of total pampering in their suite, making love, eating breakfast and lunch in bed, romantic dinners by candlelight. It was everything they had dreamed of. 

* * *

It was their final night in Phoenix, a beautiful starlit night. Jack and Daniel had decided to go for a leisurely stroll. They were so wrapped up in each other that time slipped away, and before they knew it, it was after 9 p.m. 

They were snuggling on a park bench when Jack casually glanced at his watch and exclaimed, "Oh crap! Danny, we forgot to pickup the film." 

"We can get it later," Daniel crooned against Jack's shoulder, totally content and lost in the love of the night. 

"Danny, we're leaving at 0800. If we don't get it tonight ... crap." 

Jack leaped up off the fence, giving Daniel a quick kiss as he moved, "Stay here, Love. I'll see if I can find a taxi and be back here ASAP." 

"I'll come with you, Jack." 

"Nah, you're too comfy here in the moonlight." 

"I love you so much, Jack," Daniel leaned into a kiss with his lover. 

"Be back soon -- 15, 20 minutes tops. Don't go anywhere." 

"Hurry back." 

Jack ran towards the edge of the park, leaving a contented, blissful Daniel behind. The young man was lost in the magic of the last week. After the mess with the trio, everything had been exactly as Daniel had dreamed of. He and Jack had spent every moment together. 

"We fit," Daniel sighed, an unconscious smile on his face as he thought about Jack. 

Daniel replayed their lovemaking of the last two days. They had experimented and tried some new things, each finding more erotic things to do with each other. Daniel smiled from the euphoria of the memories. He was glad that the two had decided to learn on their own. Neither had ever read a single book on sex or same-sex techniques. They learned it all together, and that's how they liked it. 

Daniel stood and walked for a few minutes. There was no one else around, so it was just he and the plant life. He admired the flowers, and was feeling very calm. Eventually, he sat down on the grass, slowly leaning back until he was prone on the lawn, his eyes closed. He smiled remembering Jack's touches, and in anticipation of what would soon happen. 

"Maybe we are forever," Daniel said softly, hope in his voice that just maybe he had finally found something he wouldn't lose, a love that would go on and on with time. 

"Not forever, Danny Boy, but a half hour ought to do it." 

Daniel's eyes opened wide, but before he could move, Mike had his hand over Daniel's mouth, and he was straddling the younger man. 

"Bud sure has it bad for you, and no one was straighter than Bud. I just gotta know what a geek like you can do to someone like Bud to turn him. Of course, I certainly can't miss your attributes." 

Daniel struggled to break free, but Mike's hold was strong. 

"Don't fight me, Doc. You'll lose ... big time." 

But Daniel wouldn't lay still, and Mike hadn't planned very well. Mike still had one hand trying to prevent Daniel from yelling, and the other hand was trying to keep Daniel's torso from moving. Daniel decided to play along. He stopped squirming. 

"Better. You'll like it, Doc. That Steve fellow couldn't offer you squat. And Bud? Heck, he never could match anything I had. He just got lucky." 

As soon as Mike eased up, sure that Daniel wasn't resisting, the younger man made his move, shoving the Italian off of him, and quickly standing. Daniel started to run, but Mike chased him down, pushing Daniel onto the grass, belly first. 

"Fine. Play it that way," Daniel felt his hands being tied behind his back. 

"Always come prepared, Doc. I didn't think you'd fight so much. Must be what Jack likes about you. I'll bet you're squirrelly." 

Daniel couldn't breathe. Why did stuff like this always have to happen? 

Mike turned him over and unbuttoned Daniel's shirt. 

"Leave me alone. He'll kill you." 

"Bud? He won't believe you. You may make him feel good, but you don't have the history, and with war buddies, history is everything. That little scene in the hotel room was nothing." 

"He'll kill you," Daniel spoke seriously. 

"Nah, he'd have to find me first. Of course, he'd have to know it was me. I'll kill him, Danny Boy. Don't think I won't. I'm not like Jackie Boy. I haven't changed, not one bit. You open your mouth to do anything but make me feel good, and I'll kill him, slowly ... and you'll never find the body." 

Daniel started to protest, but then he realized that the man about to accost him was crazy. His eyes were dark, unfocused. 

"Gawd, you're out of your mind." 

"The only thing I'm out of it ... is a good time, and you're about to provide it, aren't you, Danny Boy?" 

Mike unbuttoned Daniel's pants and unzipped them. Daniel closed his eyes. He wanted to fight, but he didn't know how. 

"So let's see what you have to offer ... Danny ... Boy." 

Mike never saw the fist that landed in his face. The next thing he knew, he was flat on the ground, Jack's fists pounding on him. 

"Jack! Don't!" Daniel shouted. 

But Jack wouldn't be stopped. He pounded away forcefully, blow after blow. 

"Gawd, Jack! JACK, STOP. PLEASE. JACK!" Daniel shouted, desperate for his lover to hear him. 

Jack continued the beating. He never spoke a word until Daniel's pleas finally reached some part of him. By then, Mike's face was bloody, and he was barely conscious. 

Jack backed off and went over to his lover. 

"Danny, are you okay?" 

"I am now." 

Jack freed Daniel's hands, "Gawd, your cold." 

They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment, before Jack helped his lover up, buttoning his shirt and ... 

"I can do it, Jack," Daniel chided. 

Mike let out a painful cry as he began to stand up. Again, he never felt the strong hold that took him from behind. Jack had his arm around Mike's neck, holding one hand behind Mike's back. 

"Do you know why you're not dead, Mike?" 

"You're weak, Bud." 

"Thank the heavens for that. But you listen to me, and you had better hear me. You see, Daniel's good graces only work once. He's standing there, and that is the only reason you aren't dead. I won't give him that memory." 

"Yeah, little Danny can't handle reality." 

Jack tightened his grip, causing Mike to squirm, trying unsuccessfully to raise his hands to Jack's forearm that held him captive. 

"I'll make an exception, Mike. I'll break your neck right here and now." 

"Then do it." 

Jack's arms pressed against Mike's throat. The man gasped, struggling for air. 

Nothing else existed in that moment except the compunction to wipe this man off the face of the planet. He deserved to die. He was going to die. No one, no one, Jack thought to himself, hurts Daniel and gets away with it, especially when their existence means a continual threat to the man Jack loved. 

"Jack, please don't." 

"See, he likes me." 

"You're sick," Daniel accused the Italian, "He'll kill you. You moron, he'll kill you." 

"He doesn't have the guts. He's weak. All he did was whine and moan about you. Image ... isn't that what you said, Bud?" Mike asked, his voice strained from Jack's grip. 

"Let me kill him, Danny." 

"I need you. Please don't do this. You don't need to do this. Look at me, Jack!" 

Jack was staring at Mike's neck, seemingly unaware of anything else. 

"Jack, please! Look at me!" 

Daniel's voice finally got through to Jack. He looked up and saw the fear in Daniel's eyes, fear that he was putting there, adding to the terror that Mike had started. Daniel relaxed as he saw the change in Jack's posture. He'd gotten through to his lover. Everything would be all right now. 

"I need you, Jack. Please," Daniel repeated for emphasis. 

"You're a disgrace, Mike. I don't care what you think, but listen to me. You're gonna live ... tonight ... but I swear on everything holy, that if you ever ... EVER ... touch Daniel again ... if you ever look at him again, I will tear your heart out. You hear me, Mike? That man is my reason for living. He's my conscience. You hurt that in any way ... and they'll never find you. You'll be my personal Jimmy Hoffa. I'll grind you up and bury you in cement." 

"You talk big, Jack." 

"Truth ... I speak the truth." 

Mike let out an arrogant laugh that disturbed Jack, but he glanced at his lover, and as much as he wanted to make Mike disappear, the fear in Daniel's eyes couldn't be denied. 

Finally, Jack tossed Mike out of his reach and quickly closed the gap between he and Daniel, taking the young man in his arms. Mike laughed at the embrace. 

"I'll kill you, Mike." 

"Sure you will, Bud ... sure, you will." 

"Jack, let's go." 

* * *

"Larry, we need to talk." 

"Thought you were spending time with your precious Doc." 

"I am, but you need to know something." 

"Meet me in the restaurant in five minutes." 

Jack hung up the phone just as Daniel walked out of the bedroom, having changed clothes. 

"Feel better?" Jack asked as he embraced his love. 

"Jack, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me. I swear." 

Jack kissed Daniel tenderly, and then held him, "I'm so sorry, Danny. I didn't know Mike could do that." 

Daniel looked into Jack's eyes, "It's okay. You saved me ... again." 

"I caused it, too. Me and my ... buddies." 

"He's sick, Jack." 

"Listen, I need to go downstairs for a few minutes." 

"Jack?" 

"I'm not going to do anything except ... tell Larry." 

"Jack." 

"Daniel. I have to. You want to come with me?" 

"No, I've had enough of your friends." 

"Lock the door." 

"Jaaaaaack!" 

"Sorry ... just ... oh, Danny." 

"Hurry back." 

"Gawd, that's what you said at the park." 

"And you did. I love you." 

"I have plans for us tonight ... or what's left of it anyway." 

"What kind of plans, Love?" 

"Hmm, I was thinking a nice, hot, bubble bath for two." 

Daniel laughed, "Gawd, Mike would die." 

"I don't care if he does. I like taking bubble baths with you." 

Daniel chuckled, "Sam would die." 

"That I might care about ... but I'm not going to tell her. Are you?" 

"Na-huh, no way." 

"I'll be back." 

Jack smiled and hurried out the door. 

* * *

"You've got to be kidding, Bud ... Jack. Mike?" 

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" 

"Is the Doc okay?" 

"Yeah, he's fine, and he's going to stay fine. Listen, Larry, the thing that worries me is Mike was ... he wasn't afraid, he wasn't the least bit ... Larry, he was crazed. He's sick. You need to be careful." 

"Mike was always on the fringe, Jack. He's always done things a bit ... outside the loop." 

"Larry, I will kill him if he ever comes near Daniel again. He's only alive now because Daniel was there, and there is no one on the face of this Earth more full of compassion than My Danny." 

"Your Danny?" 

"My Danny. I'm telling you this because you may be Mike's only chance. The only fool is the man who never allows fear. Well, Larry, I'm full of fear, fear that Mike is going to come after Daniel, just to spite me." 

Jack moved closer to Larry and spoke softly but extremely firmly, "I won't let him hurt Daniel, and that's what you have to understand. If you want Mike to live, you and Johnny need to watch him, try to get him some help. If he comes after Danny, you'll never find the body." 

"Geez, Jack, you're serious." 

"You're dead right." 

"You consider the possibility Mike might go after you?" 

"I feel sorry for him if he does." 

"Why?" 

"Because Daniel will kill him if he does." 

"The geek? Jack, you just said ..." 

"I know what I said, but that's the problem, you don't know Daniel. The three of you think you have him pegged as what, Larry -- some intellectual, cultural geek freak with long hair? Some cute wimp? A boy toy? I meant what I said, he's saved your life, Larry. It is classified. Daniel Jackson is a hero, and he is the bravest man I know. You underestimate him. Let me tell you something, there have been a lot of ... people who have done the same thing. Most of them are dead now." 

"You make him sound like the Green Hornet, a masked crusader." 

"Yeah, that's My Danny, cultural expert by day, super hero by night," Jack mused before getting serious again. 

"I love him, Larry. I don't want him to live with death that I cause, nor do I want him to kill ... but he has killed, Larry, and if someone hurts me, he'll kill again." 

"Wow. You sure you aren't just pulling my leg, and Mike isn't going to walk out here and yell out 'surprise." 

"If Mike sets foot in this hotel before Danny and I leave, I won't be responsible for my actions." 

Larry finished his drink, "Jack, the doc's not so bad. He put up with a lot of crap from us." 

"Yeah, he did. Larry, Danny and I, we ... we fight a lot. It's part of us, and I don't know that we'll ever stop, but ... what we have is real, and I know you don't understand that. Believe me, no one was more surprised than I was when I realized how I cared about him, but he's my blessing and my salvation. I almost lost him because of this macho service garbage." 

Jack finished his drink and stood up, "You guys were there for me more times than I can count. War buddies, that bond ... it's real, Larry. We both know that." 

Jack took out his wallet and laid out a twenty dollar bill to pay for their drinks and an excessive tip, and then he looked at Larry one last time. 

"I care about you guys. I was part of you, and I'm not trying to say it's not important, but Larry, there's more to life. There's another side, and Daniel has helped me to see that. He's my life now, and he comes first. I thought for a minute that I could mix the two worlds, but I can't, and I don't really want to. 

"The point is this. Thank you for saving my life ... to you, Johnny, and Mike. Now, I'm trying to save yours. You're my past. Daniel is my present, and my future. There's no divided loyalty, Larry. I don't want to see Mike destroy himself, but I'll do what I have to do. Do you understand?" 

Larry stood and nodded, and reached out to shake Jack's hand, "I get it, Jack. I'll talk to Johnny. We'll try to help him." 

"You're all he has, Larry. I have to go. Daniel's waiting, and I ...," Jack smiled, "I don't like the idea of him alone right now, not with Mike out there." 

"Take care, Jack. Tell the ... Tell Daniel goodbye, and that I'm sorry ... for everything." 

"Bye, Larry," Jack smiled a last time, turned and walked out of the restaurant bar. 

* * *

When Jack and Daniel headed back to Colorado Springs, they were stronger than ever. Neither expected that their trip to Phoenix would have the impact it did, but Jack was grateful it had, except for the part about Mike. 

Sitting on the plane, holding Daniel's hand and studying his lover's face as the young man slept, Jack knew he wanted more with Daniel than what they had. He wasn't sure how to get it, for a number of reasons, not the least of which was Sha're, but after the last two weeks of being with Daniel 24/7, for the most part, Jack realized that's what he wanted. 

He hated the separations they went through, the running back and forth between the house and Daniel's apartment. 

Jack thought silently, "Danny, I want you with me all the time. Geez, I'm a selfish s.o.b., and I know you could do so much better, but you're mine, and I want that to be forever. Someday, Love, we're going to figure out a way for us to be together all the time. Someday." 

Jack looked towards the other side of the plane, thoughts of Sha're invading his mind as he continued his torture of silent thoughts. 

"I'm sorry, Sha're. I ... I love him now. I'll let him go if that's what he wants, but ... it'll kill me. We're going to find you, and so help me, you hurt him, and you'll deal with me." 

"Jack, you're scowling." 

"Hey, Sleepyhead. I thought you'd sleep all the way to Denver, which isn't that far, you know." 

Squeezing Jack's hand, "Don't change the subject. What were you thinking about?" 

Jack looked down, hesitant to answer. 

"Jack?" 

Jack fidgeted, glanced at Daniel and then looked down at their hands. He brought Daniel's up to his mouth and kissed it. 

"Tell me." 

"I ... I was talking to Sha're." 

Jack met Daniel's gaze. 

"Oh. About ... me?" 

"No, about the plane flight." 

Daniel never took his eyes off of Jack, not needing to verbally chastise him. 

"Okay. I was telling her that I love you, that we'd find her, and that if she ever hurt you, she'd deal with me." 

Jack again looked away, unable to face Daniel. 

"She'd never hurt me, Jack." 

"I know; wish I could make the same claim." 

"Jack, it's over. I love you." 

"I'm so lucky, Danny." 

The rest of the flight was completed in silence and a bit of small talk, but Jack and Daniel never let go of their hands until the plane landed. They picked up their luggage and headed for the long term parking lot where Jack's truck was parked and headed towards the Springs. 

"I ... I suppose you want to go to the apartment." 

"Hmm-mmm." 

Jack nodded sadly. 

"I have to feed the fish." 

Jack turned to looked at Daniel who was smiling. 

"We don't have to be back at the SGC for two days. I vote we finish off the getaway with a little romance in front of the fire at your house." 

"Our house," Jack corrected, causing Daniel to blush. 

* * *

The night before they'd have to go back to work and settle back into their normal abnormal routine, Jack had prepared his dress blues for an early morning meeting and had then gone downstairs for a snack. He was seated at the table near the kitchen when Daniel walked up, his hands behind his back. 

"Jack, Love, you were wrong." 

"Wrong?" 

Daniel smiled, setting a pair of black shoes, shoe polish and a cloth on the table in front of his lover. 

"You are definitely worthy of shining my shoes, and boy do they need it. Bring them up for inspection when you come to bed, and if they pass, I'll give you a special...," Daniel nibbled on Jack's left ear, "...treat." 

Daniel turned and walked up the stairs, leaving Jack staring at the shoes. Though his first instinct was to tell Daniel to stuff it, the promise of the treat was too tempting to pass up. Instead, Jack laughed heartily. 

"Geez, Danny, what you do to me." 

Jack picked up the cloth and polish and began to shine the shoes diligently, laughing more and more as he did so. 

"And don't you ever stop doing it, Danny ... not ever!" 

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~   
  


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